Hello, my name is Marc Smoorenburg. I was born on November 27,1983 in my hometown of Aurora, Colorado. I graduated from the University of Mines so I’m a fat genius. I was the one who did surgery on a grape back in 2010, which turned into the infamous meme it is now. After my days doing math for hospitals, I decided that this world needed a new and improved American president, so this year, I’m running.
I am highly qualified, the most qualified of all of the current candidates. I had a perfect gpa, always, teachers loved me. They loved me so much they wished I was the only student in class. Kids would come and ask me to do their homework and I’d give them a speech about how they need to quit being lazy, and how its was time for them to take responsibility. These kids were 19, 20, 21, 22 and they were crying like this: “omg I’m SO stressed right now, I have a paper that’s like a month over due and I haven’t slept in like three days. All my teachers totally HATE ME and I don’t know why” I wacked them on the back of the head and kindly explained that it wasn’t the teachers who hated them, it was themselves. I gently explained that it was truly their fault. They then realized it there was no one else to blame but themselves.
Before the week was over they began to get their grades up. They became admirable youth who cared for their parents and the people around them. No longer would they come to school looking like death. They came to school clean everyday and spoke to their teachers with respect. You no longer heard the word “yeah” as a response, but instead they properly answered with “yes.” This is the same change I will bring to the US. Responsibility, respect, self-confidence, discipline and admirability among each other.
I am a proud member of the National Penguin Association Party. We stand for liberty, justice, small government, big guns, and peace, love and screaming.
We are wholly against abortion. Think about all of the possible doctors, scientists, engineers, inventors, and business men and women who were murdered before birth. The first female president, the scientist who will discover the cure to cancer, and the first person to live to 150 years has been killed. Its time for this to end, and under my presidency I will ensure its end.
Hello. My name is Sebastian Myers and I am the Vice President of the National Penguin Association.
I was born April 15, 1977 in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Raised by Sydney and Mark Myers along with my 3 younger siblings. I have always been active in and out of my community ever since I could remember. In 7th grade I ran for the president of the National Junior Honor Society in which I was successful. Fast forward to my senior year of high school and I was able to hold the title of president all throughout out my high school career. Along with the privilege of being president, I was able to initiate a Mock U.N, uphold a steady 4.0 GPA, and make it onto varsity lacrosse all four years.
After high school, I really began to find an interest in political science and the affect that it has on the American people. Since I worked a part time job throughout high school, I was able to save enough funding for me to fly to Africa at a young age of 19. This trip allowed for me to really understand how the people in a different nation live and put some of the aspects which they believe into my own political beliefs. Upon returning to the states in 97’ I began submitting applications abroad to all Ivy league schools in hope of expanding my knowledge on the science behind politics. I was proud to receive an acceptance letter to Yale 6 months later. Fast forward another 8 years and I graduated with two majors, resulting in my knowledge of Economics and General Social Sciences.
On April 2005 I began to build my profile in order to run for senate. I indulged myself in all parties and organizations that required help or that gave back to the community. It wasn’t till about late December in 2007 that I went to a charity event for penguins in Antartica. Learning more about penguins sparked a flame within me to learn more about the species and their way of living. So, like all normal people do I decided to fly myself out to Antartica and study their habits, along with how they survive, live, and grow. After a year of research, I came back to the states to begin my official campaign to run for senate. It was not till 2012 that I was finally able to begin to grab the attention of the people and grow. In 2014, I was humbled to be voted in as Senate of The State of Colorado.
My career as a senate was more than I could have ever hoped for. I feel that through it I have been able to really help the people of my country and my home state. It was not till around 2016 that I had the honor to meet Mark. We quickly began to talk about politics and what we believe to be true. Oddly enough, we shared a common interest in penguins. Thus, creating our political party, The National Penguin Association.
Now, Marc and I are running to be elected into office... I could not be more blessed and privileged to be where I am now. I hope to impress the American people and show them that it is time for change and to mold this country into a stronger nation.
My name’s Ian Fogerty, I am a 38 year old white male that is the campaign manager for the newly formed penguin party. Personally, I firmly support the party and its interests but I am open for discussion and different opinions. I was born in Denver, Colorado and grew up with a single mother. My father left us when I was 3 but that never gets me down! I went to Washington University in St.Louis and i’ve been in numerous campaigns throughout my life. I’ve helped people like London Breed, Bill de Blasio, Jenny Durkan, and many others in there campaign’s to become a strong political figure such as mayor. I have confidence in my abilities and I believe I will lead the penguin party to the white house.
I’ve never been out of the country however I am very involved in politics around the globe. I am supportive of equal equality and equal responsibility for all races in genders across the globe. Other then that all of the issues covered by the penguin party such as banning abortion and harshening the death penalty I support completely. I hope you vote for the penguin party in order to bring the needed change to the United States that we need.